


For Now, and For Then

by ShatteredSwallowtail



Series: Taming Dragons [7]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredSwallowtail/pseuds/ShatteredSwallowtail
Summary: Followup to If I Should Fall. Boys make up and have a heart-to-heart
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Estinien Wyrmblood
Series: Taming Dragons [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733218
Kudos: 28





	For Now, and For Then

He really must remember to buy Lucia a bottle of ale the next time he saw her. Not only had the saintly woman made sure they weren’t disturbed for the remainder of the night...she had somehow seen to it that any attempt by his lord to leave his chambers was met with a refusal. Sainted woman indeed. Though sleep had claimed Aymeric for much of the later morning and afternoon, owing in part to the little time they had spent sleeping earlier. Kisses and caresses had been interspersed with apologies on both sides, neither of them keen to allow a sharing of the blame for their quarrel until the damnable knight had managed to pin him down and trace fingertips along his horns until he begged. And apologies were put aside for more enjoyable activities. Later, when the candles had burned low and they were still tangled up in a pleasant haze of afterglow and trading idle kisses...they had simply talked. Perhaps the so recent hurt feelings had prompted it, but whatever the reason it had seemed years since either had been so wont to bare themselves so readily and it had felt…..good. A release of an entirely different sort and Estinien couldn’t help but muse to himself that perhaps they both had needed such a thing that neither had been willing or able to acknowledge.

Fears of the impact that formalizing their bond would have on the fledgling republic….worries that a day would come when Aymeric would grow to resent his wandering….doubts that he was truly deserving of such a regard and had no place at his lord’s side in such a way…. Once laid bare those things seemed less daunting and it was easier to speak of them even if he lacked the ready skill with words that his lover possessed. Feelings and emotions were still not his strong suite - honestly he doubted that they ever would become such - but he was at least attempting to deal with them in a better manner. And it helped that Aymeric seemed to know better than to press him on it, seemed to understand when to step back and when to encourage.

“Your mind is far away, my own….. Would you share where it flies to?”

The sleepy question came from the drowsy man curled up against him and Estinien smirked softly as he propped himself up on one elbow. “Not far, my lord. Simply….that perhaps we are both still learning how to make this work….” Aymeric blinked his eyes open with a yawn as he shifted a little closer and nodded. “Indeed, I cannot lie that I feel somewhat chided. Like a boy who has tried to do battle ere he learned to hold the sword. Forgive me my failings, love?”

“Only if you would forgive me mine own.” He replied softly as he leaned down to nuzzle a kiss to dark curls. “We are both flawed, it would seem.”

“They are already forgiven, Estinien. As they have always been.” Glancing towards the clock, he frowned as his gaze took note of the time. “By the twelve, is that the hour? I must-”

“Stay here. With me.” The dragoon interjected as he tugged the shorter man back against him with a snort. “In your own quite fervent words; the Fury take Ishgard. The work will keep, Aymeric.” Blue eyes widened at him in almost disbelief. “Truly I did not say such a thing….?” The expression on his lover’s face was one of such disbelief and horror at the notion that Estinien couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Aye, you did. Twice, in fact, when I questioned the function of mine ears.” His own expression softening into a more serious one, he tightened his grip on Aymeric with another nuzzle to hair. “And then you spoke of our future…. And reminded me of something I had perchance not permitted myself to think of. And so I would ask you now…. To tell me of this future you would see for us?”

His attention now suitably distracted from the work that awaited him outside the door, Aymeric allowed himself to relax against the taller man with a faint smile and a soft sigh. “Indulge your curiosity, is it? I fain you will mock me, my own. Must I extract your pledge that you will not do so?” The teasing question earned him a melodramatic sigh and a roll of eyes with a heavy reply of “If I must do so, very well.” Chuckling, he raised an eyebrow at the dragoon who was still holding him hostage in his own bed. “Might I be released long enough to fetch us both tea? Or am I obliged to wear you as a garment while I do so?”

Frowning, Estinien made a show of debating his answer before releasing his grip on Aymeric with another facetious sigh of annoyance. “If you feel that you must, my lord. I shall endeavor to be patient. Though it vexes me greatly.” Leaning back against the pillows, he made a great show of his vexation as he watched Aymeric brew the tea, admiring every curve of muscle and graceful movement.

“You are staring.”

“And if I am, my lord?”

“It is rude to stare, Estinien.” Came the retort, though there was no disguising the amusement in Aymeric’s tone as he added cream and sugar to his own tea and left Estinien’s black as he preferred it. “Indeed. And if you will recall, my lord, never have I claimed breeding or culture.” It was such a truly Estinien reply that he couldn’t help but smile as he brought the tray back over to the bedside table and resumed his prior position curled up against his dragoon before handing the silver-haired man his cup. “You are correct in that, but I would have you no other way.” Estinien shifted with a snort of amusement as he accepted his cup. “Truly? Were I in your place, my lord, I would have me with somewhat less surliness and somewhat increased manners and decorum.”

Shifting as well to sit up, but still leaning against Estinien, Aymeric pursed his lips in a thoughtful expression for a long moment before speaking. “Hmm, perhaps you are right. Less surly, more well-mannered… waiting at home to offer me a well-cooked dinner and fine conversation at the end of every day… what a future that would be.” He shot his gaze sidelong at Estinien, barely managing to keep a straight face at the look of abject horror on his dragoon’s face for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Peace, my love… I merely jest.”

“I should certainly hope so.” The flustered man snapped with a scowl, taking a sip of his tea as Aymeric continued to laugh before his expression gentled and he reached to brush knuckles against Estinien’s jaw. “I would never think to take your freedom from you, my own. To make of you some sort of well-bred house-husband preparing dinner for me every night. I do not begrudge you your wanderings, though I will not lie and deny that I miss you dearly when you are away.” His ire soothed somewhat, Estinien leaned his face into that touch with a soft sigh. “Were thou to merely say the word….”

“And you would stay. I am not ignorant of that, my own. And that is why I do not ask. I would not be the chains that bind you here, Estinien. I would be the star that guides you home.” They were simple words and yet they held so much meaning within them and he shifted again to rest his chin on Aymeric’s head with a soft sigh and a faint smile. “Is that the future of which you spoke? Such is simply the present, Aymeric. You are as a beacon of light in my dark world. As you have always been. Is there not more that you would wish for?”

“Truly? I would wish to see you more. To share more in these adventures that you have, and to share more of myself with you in return. I would wish for the whole of the world to know you as mine and mine alone. To speak of you openly in the same manner in which others speak of their husbands and wives that they treasure and to wear your ring on my hand for all to see that of all those you could have chosen...you chose me. And I would wish for you to desire the same things in return.” That seemed….far simpler than he would have thought it could be, and Estinien chewed his lower lip for a moment before he spoke again. “And what of your family? What of the shame that such a choice could bring to house Borel? What of children? Of the future of your family?”

“What shame? The shame of choosing the man who I love? There is no shame in that. And if you refer to what the people will say… I have lived in the shadow of their whispers ere I was old enough to understand them and I have never allowed them to hold me back or to define what I make of myself. Why should I allow such a thing now? And as for children, we are neither of us trueborn sons of our houses. Rather we were both taken in as so many others in Ishgard were. And perhaps one day we will choose to do the same for another child. We fought the battles that we did, and lost the comrades that we lost...to _free_ Ishgard from her traditions. To free her from the lie in perpetuity that there are those born higher and those born lower. I would not see mine own house fail to loose those shackles. And what of you, my own? Surely there are dreams of your own that you would weave with mine to create our future together. Wilt thou not share them with me?”

Estinien was silent for so long that Aymeric feared he had managed to offend his lover in some way, and he kept back a silent sigh of relief when the taller man finally spoke up. “The future...is not something I considered, my lord. Ere I took up the mantle of Azure Dragoon, I never believed that the war would see it’s ceasing during my lifetime and such things as home and family and future seemed pointless. A worthless waste of time better spent in battle or honing my skills for the battles of the future. Even after Nidhogg’s defeat, when I was consumed by his rage… I believed the future to be trivial as I would not be there to partake of it. Even in my wanderings, I still struggle to find what I consider to be my purpose in this new world. Yet there is one constant amidst it all; you. I am not skilled in this as you are, I have not the words or knowledge to build a future, but…. Whatever the future brings, I would have you there. There to welcome me home...there to ground me when I falter, and there to be a lighthouse on the seas to guide me when I lose myself. I would… I would wish that I had more dreams to offer in return, but I fear I am still learning to create them.”

It was rare for Estinien to be so open with his feelings, and Aymeric listened quietly as he set his teacup down and reached to twine fingers through his lover’s with a gentle squeeze. It made sense, honestly...and he inwardly kicked himself for never considering how much more difficult even considering such a future must be for Estinien. Combing fingers through a stray lock of silver hair, he gave it a gentle tug and pulled the taller man down for a soft kiss with a smile. “Then allow me to teach you how, my own…. And we will create them together. For now… and for the future we build together.”


End file.
